What Not to do on a Traffic Jam
by tallnut
Summary: Heavy vehicle congestion, confused Police officer and a new guy on the team makes Severus' day miserably humorous. Good thing he has Harry. Mature.


**A/N: Established relationship. Living in muggle world. AU. **

**Characters: Not mine except the secretary.  
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**Music: Not mine.  
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**Car: Not mine.**

**Thank you redfishy for helping me. I swear to defend your lawn from nasty zombies. Hehe!**

**Review please.  
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><p>Five thirty in the afternoon, the time when working people are getting off work. It creates a daily and an unavoidable rush of people from their offices going to their houses or somewhere else. Some have their own cars others uses public transportation. One would expect the density of people and vehicles on the streets at this hour.<p>

"Well done! Congratulations, I have confidence that our clients will be satisfied with our proposals. Alright that's all for today... our meeting is adjourned. I'll see you guys tomorrow for our actual presentation with the clients." Harry said, who was wearing a peach, long-sleeved button down shirt and black trousers beamed at his colleagues, shaking their hands.

"And Oh, Eunice, don't forget to secure our proposals, guard it with your life." He joked. Eunice his secretary gently swatted him on his forearm in return. "You should get going, don't want to keep Severus waiting do you?" She cheerfully reminded him.

"Yes, Yes, I'm going... See ya tomorrow." He waved goodbye as he left.

Harry sprinted towards the lift before it closed. It was already crowded and stuffy inside, luckily his office is only on the third floor.

A Swarm of people got out from the lift when it finally dinged at the ground floor. It looked like they were in a horse race. Harry, on the other hand, after squirming from the bunch of people, skipped merrily towards the exit where a black BMW SLK was parked waiting for him.

Harry opened the car door and got in. "Hello." He said as he kissed the man on the driver's seat. It was a chaste kiss at first then it went deeper. The need for oxygen broke the kiss.

"I missed you Harry." The man behind the wheels, wearing a white button up shirt and black pants spoke. His usual greasy shoulder-length hair was now tamed a bit by a loosened black ribbon at his back.

"I missed you more Severus" Harry replied and pecked the older man's cheek.

"I missed you most." Severus smiled then kissed Harry on his forehead.

Harry rolled his eyes and put on his seat belt. "You really do not give in, do you?"

"Why would I do that?" Severus replied in a playful manner.

"And that is one of the many reason why I'm so much in love with you." Harry brightly supplied.

Severus chuckled and started the engine. "I love you too Harry. So how was your day?" he inquired as he started to drive.

"It was very good. In fact our mock presentation was a success. It is a big project and we really need this break. A huge budget is at stake and we need to win the bidding tomorrow. Our proposals are very efficient and economical they'll pick us for sure." Harry confidently responded.

"What about you Sev? Have you had any progress on the new vaccine?" Harry inquired as they yielded at a stoplight in the intersection.

"Me? Well... we are already at the final stage of our research. Ninety five percent of our patients are reacting positively to the vaccine." Severus sighed.

"That's good news right? You don't seem to be happy. Is there something wrong? Harry asked anxiously.

Severus frowned checked the rear view mirror as they turned left at yet another intersection. "It's not something, it's SOMEONE. There's this new guy on our research team, genuinely obnoxious. He claims that he's a know-it-all, but he's just an air head, really! He's a total gormless bloke who keeps suggesting worthless theories. He's really getting on my nerves!" He ranted animatedly both hands throwing off the air.

"Keep your hands on the wheel Severus." Harry sniggered.

"Oh yeah... Sorry..." He apologized. "He became a member simply because he is recommended by the department head. They're kind of relatives or something. I don't care." Severus grumbled.

Harry smiled then placed his palm on the older man's face and caressed it lazily.

"Patience sweetheart, just ignore the guy, what matters most is that if the vaccine is a success. It will help a lot of people, right? Besides I'm always here to support you in anyway and every way I can. And don't frown it does not look good on you." Then Harry tried to cease the crease on the older man's brow.

"Mmm... yeah... you're right. Sorry for losing my temper and... Thank you, thank you for everything." He shortly lingered to the touch before he turned his attention on the road and continued driving.

"Do you want me to kill him? Just say the word and I'll do it." Harry teased.

"Well... yeah... Hey! You know we're not allowed to do that."

"I know... I know... I'm just lightening things up." Harry chuckled.

Severus smiled and relaxed, it was one of the wonderful things about his Harry, which whenever he has a cloudy day, his Harry would be there to clear the skies. His Harry would always be the only one who could put a genuine smile on his face. He made him realized that living is not a curse but a gift especially when there were people who are caring, understanding and loving as Harry do.

Their journey continued and when they passed a grocery store Severus remembered his task.

"By the way it's my turn to cook for tonight, what do you want for dinner?" The older man asked.

"Hmmm... I could just have you for dinner but I think I'll wait till desert." Harry winked sexily at his companion.

"Seriously Harry!" Severus chuckled.

They continued talking until they reached a congested street. It's a two-way street but because of the vehicles who tried to counter flow, it became a four-lane-one-way road. The vehicles are already bumper to bumper with each other. There seem to be an accident of some sort but no one really knows. Car horns are beeping wildly and some motorists are already cranky. Hands waving to the air, drivers are trying to get by to the other lane but were also blocked by another vehicle who tried to do the same. Others tried to get out from their car to see what was going on. Everyone wants to claim the right of lane and no one wants to give in. It's like they were forming an angry mob in form of vehicles.

"Oh fuck!" Severus exclaimed as he pushed harshly on the brakes.

They both plunged violently forward. Good thing they wore their seat belts.

"Wha - what was that?" Harry cried turning his attention to the road. "Oh no..." he groaned when he saw the sea of mob-forming vehicles. Harry knew that other than the red traffic light, stupid pedestrians who crosses the street while the light indicates stop crossing, swerving motorists, slow driving senior citizens and chatty traffic enforcers, Severus hated traffic jams the most. Especially severe traffic jams like this.

Severus tried to reverse the car around but there were already several cars behind them, it seemed that they were trapped. He grumbled in displeasure. Harry watched Severus as he grumpily checked the GPS for a possible diversion but there was no opening. There was one corner that they could have taken but they already missed it. There was nothing to do but wait for the vehicle congestion to lessen or whatever it is holding them from moving to move. Harry tuned in on the radio waiting for the traffic news, while Severus continued to search frantically on the GPS.

It took three songs and three advertisements before the DJ got on air. _It is now six thirty in the evening time to give the updated traffic report for the road situation ahead..._

"Hey Sev listen they're going give the traffic report. And stop attacking the GPS, what has it ever done to you?" Harry sniggered at his last sentence.

Frowning, Severus shot a look at Harry who was now smiling at him. He smirked back and tried to calm himself once again. Taking a deep breath he turned up the volume of the radio.

_...the North bound is moderate to heavy due to slight road maintenance. On the west lane there is extreme vehicle congestion due to the reported carjacking incident in that area. The police are setting up check points so expect a very slow flow of traffic. Traffic officials are helping to sort things out. To the people who got stuck on that area just stay tuned for more traffic updates. For the mean time here are some words from our sponsors..._

Severus sighed then turned down the radio volume. His slumped as he unenthusiastically tapped the steering wheel. He gripped it for a moment and frowned then let it go and relaxed. Eyeing the road ahead of them he turned to Harry.

"Now what?" he asked.

"Now we wait. We will be moving soon, we just have to wait. At least we're stuck here together, you and me. Imagine you got stuck with that new guy from your team, wouldn't that be interesting?" Harry joked.

"NO! NO FUCKING WAY! NOT FREAKIN' HAPPENING! I'd rather be killed by a giant snake than to spend one fucking minute with that nincompoop!" throwing his arms in front of his chest forming an X then throwing it sideways with matching violent head shakes for an exaggerated effect.

Harry laughed at his lover's reaction. Severus looked at him questioningly, he realized just how ridiculous his reaction looked like then he chortled. They both laughed their hearts out until the vehicles started to move in a slow pace, but at least their moving. Time passed as they talked about random things. They made fun of the confused drivers and passengers from other vehicles who still can't figure out what was going on.

They played a game of I-Spy until they saw a couple who are arguing in the car in front of theirs and made another game out of it. They have to figure out what are they arguing about. Each took turns and laughed on their speculations. Severus never enjoyed being stuck in such heavy traffic, thankful that he's with Harry. They passed a huge advertisement board with an old man holding a bucket of chicken, Harry peered at it.

"Sev, I'm getting kinda hungry." He said.

Severus craned his neck to check their position. They are almost at the check point and there are more or less than fifty vehicles ahead of them. He can only manage to see the signpost that bore YEILD POLI... sign on it.

"Since it's a bit late do you mind if we will just stop at a drive-thru?" He asked Harry.

"Uhm... Nope. No. Not at all, besides I was going to suggest the same thing."

There was silence and the only thing they could hear is the faint sound of the radio.

_Word on the street, you got somethin' to show me, ee  
>Magical, colorful, Mr. Mystery, ee<br>I'm intrigued, for a peek, Heard it's fascinating..._

The music seemed familiar to Harry. It was a dance-pop song, with an up-tempo dance beat, somewhat funky and enticing.

_I want the jaw droppin, eye popin, head turnin, body shockin  
>(Uh, uh, oh, Uh, uh, uh, oh)<br>I want my heart throbbin, ground shakin, show stoppin, amazin  
>(Uh, uh, oh, Uh, uh, uh, oh)...<em>

"I know this song, first time I heard it was from Eunice's mp3." He turned the volume a little louder and started to sing along.

_Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?  
>Don't be a chicken boy, stop acting like a beeotch<br>I'm a peace out if you don't give me the pay off  
>Come on baby let me see<br>What you're hiding underneath_

There's something on the lyrics that made Severus raise an eyebrow "What exactly is the song implying? Who is the artist?"

"Hmmm... I don't know. I think she's the one who kissed a girl and liked It." he shrugged. It's quite catchy and a bit arousing don't you think?"

_Are you brave enough to let me see your peacock?  
>What you're waiting for, it's time for you to show it off<br>Don't be a shy kinda guy I'll bet it's beautiful  
>Come on baby let me see<br>Whatchu hidin' underneath..._

"Wait till you hear the chorus." He smiled slyly.

_I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock  
>Your peacock, cock<br>Your peacock, cock, cock  
>Your peacock<br>I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock  
>Your peacock, cock<br>Your peacock, cock, cock  
>Your peacock<br>_

He bounced his head a bit as he sang with a smirk on his face, putting an emphasis on the word 'cock' while looking seductively at Severus from his head to his crotch.

Oh Severus knew that look. He often sees it on the boy during intimate occasions. He already has presumptions to where this is going however as tempting Harry's invitation is, he, being the older one is quite reserve. Doing something intimate in public is not his strong point.

Still singing Harry move closer to the older man gave light kisses on the nook of his neck then pulled a bit to look at his lover. Severus could see the lust plastered on the boy's face.

Severus narrowed his eyes and silently mouthed the word 'NO'. Harry pouted and altered his look with his puppy-dog eyes only cheekily.

The music goes on as Harry sings along with it altering some words. _"Don't be a shy guy, I'll bet it's beautiful. Come on Sevy, let me see whatcha hiddin' underneath..."_ while he trailed his index finger vertically from Severus' lips to his neck, chest then gone all the way to the top of his belt buckle dipping his finger on the seam of his trousers and stopped.

Severus bit a moan and rolled his eyes "Harry... you have seen _it_ a dozen times and you can see _it_ again later – at home, not here. Someone might see us besides..." he craned his neck to his side to peek their location. "We're almost near at the check p..."

Whatever he's going to say, was muffled by a soft lips, lusciously soft lips. He can't do anything but to give in to the kiss.

Harry moved his lips from the older man's mouth trailing small kisses from his jaw line to his earlobe, Severus moaned and motioned to argue but Harry lightly stroked his thighs than sends electric sensations to his veins. A whimper escaped from his mouth instead of words.

"I bet I can make you come before we reach the check point." Harry purred seductively into his ear which sends little volts to the older man's veins. Severus shivered.

Harry's hand hovered lightly over Severus' bulging member which gained a guttural moan. Severus placed his hand over his and tried to stop what Harry was doing. He confusedly looked at him.

"Do you want me to stop? Just tell me, I don't mind." There's a bit of dismay on his voice but he tried to conceal it with a gentle smile.

Severus wanted to say 'stop' but his groin area was already in pain. He didn't think he could hold it until they passed the check-point. He wanted Harry to continue but there were too many 'what ifs' on his logical brain. There were more or less than thirty cars in front of them, and the check point sign was almost visible. Severus was bemusing with panic and pleasure, his rational side of his brain was telling them to stop but his libido was saying otherwise.

Seeing the baffled look on his lover, Harry smiled knowingly, caressed his cheek, kissed him and gently withdrew his hands from his thighs. Severus immediately grabbed Harry's withdrawing hands and looked him intently in his eyes.

"No." Severus croaked. "Since when did you learn how to do your tasks half finished?" He managed to ask.

Harry smiled widely. "I –I don't." And with that he happily unfastened the older man's buckle unzipped his trousers and freed his aching member proudly at attention glistening of pre-cum. He bent down, savouring its musky scent. He looked up asking permission. Severus gave a nod and braced himself on the steering wheel.

Luckily their car was heavily tinted. No one was suspecting what was happening inside. Harry dipped his tongue on the slit and started lapping its tip before he swallowed his length earning a raspy moan. Severus threw his head back at the sensation. It is a good thing that they we're in a slow turtle like pace so he didn't have to worry about hitting other vehicles.

Harry hummed as he started to bob his head up and down onto Severus' enormous shaft. The vibration from the hum sent a delicious sensation to every nerve in his body. Severus shivered when Harry gently nibbled his tip and blew hot air on it. He cursed every time the vehicles moved. He used hand breaks every time they stopped to relax his toes that won't stop curling every time Harry nimbly grazed his teeth on the sides of his cock.

They were only ten vehicles behind. Severus panicked when he realized how moderate they were moving now. Good thing a truck van cut them on the line not that Severus minded. His thoughts were swirling with desire to fuck the boy's mouth. He tried to buck into Harry's mouth but his waist was held in place. He was on the verge of ecstasy.

Harry busied his other hand playing with his scrotum, and he put them into his mouth and suckled them. Severus was seeing stars. He grabbed the boy's unruly hair and pumped it forcefully onto his shaft. Harry gagged a bit and tears were forming on his eyes. He looked up to watch his lover's reaction, both of their gazes locked for a moment.

To Severus it was the sexiest scene he could have ever imagined. Watching the boy's swollen mouth sucking his shaft while they were stuck in traffic was exhilarating. The pressure of getting _it_ done before anyone might catch them made him nervous and excited at the same time. He wouldn't admit it to anyone, but he enjoyed it.

Sweat formed on Severus' forehead and his gaping mouth moaning with pleasure, satisfied the boy. The expression of pleasure and pain painted on the older man's face was making him hard as well. If only Severus could fuck him right then and there, but alas, the fucking had to wait till later.

"Oh fuck! Harry five vehicles ahead. Ugh... Harry, faster." Severus hissed.

"Oooowwk..." Harry responded with his mouth full of Severus'.

He bobbed his head more rapidly. Harry could feel the contraction on his balls.

"Harry! Ngh! I'm close, we're close!" Severus panted.

Harry gave his balls one last suck and gave the tip its last gentle bite then Severus came exploding into his mouth.

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><p>A brawny and buff middle-aged police officer motioned them to roll down the window and Severus did. The officer peeked inside with a flashlight as if inspecting for something. He suddenly noticed the driver. He thought that he looked familiar. He asked for his driver's licence and the car registration papers.<p>

"Well, if it isn't my old buddy Hans." He sneered. His accent was a bit different.

"Excuse me? Who?" Severus confusedly responded.

"Ah... Don't you remember me? It's me John. Nice new look there Hans. You grew out your hair and shaved." He jeered on.

"SIR, I think you are mistaken me for another person. I do not know you. My name is Snape, Severus Snape." He annoyingly retorted.

"Really? Awww that is too bad Hans. I really liked you back then. Remember the time when you shouted 'Shoot the glass!' to your cohorts to annihilate me?" The officer teased.

'I'll shoot your arse if you don't stop chatting' he irritatingly whispered.

Pretending to be asleep, Harry bit his face to prevent himself from laughing.

"What was that?" the officer inquired.

"Nothing, just check my documents as you can see my driver's licence clearly stated that my name is SEVERUS not HANS." His voice became a bit louder and more irritated.

The police officer shuffled his papers on his hands giving the impression of inspecting them.

"And if you're done with us can we pass thru? There are too many cars waiting behind." Severus sarcastically supplied.

"So… Your name is Severus Snape. How do you do Mr. Snape?" He cheekily addressed.

"Oh for the love of…! That doesn't concern you does it?" He snapped.

"Aww... you're no fun. Ok here are your documents Mr. Snape." He handed back their papers. He peeked inside the car for the last time. "Whew... your air-con seemed broken, it's humid in here and you're soaking in sweat. You should get that fixed man."

Severus got into panicky mode luckily the officer didn't notice. "Yes, yes, I will. Can we go now?" he said coolly.

"Yeah, I'll see you around Hans. Have a safe trip! Oh wait I have one last question."

Exasperated Severus rolled his eyes and asked. "What it is?"

"Who is that sleeping guy?" he pointed at Harry

"He is my boyfriend."

"Oh... I didn't know you preferred men, Hans. He must have been worn out. He has drool all over his face."

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><p><strong>Ah... I just love Die Hard. To the readers who are not familiar, Hans and John are characters from the very first Die Hard portrayed by Alan Rickman and Bruce Willis. <strong>^_^-


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